• Smita Parikh, MD

A great tip on how to get your happy back right now!

The days, weeks, years can be long when you are trying to start a family and it's just not happening the way you had planned. It's easy to find yourself feeling sad, isolated and depressed and not quite sure how to just "snap out of it" the way you have in the past. For many women, it is natural to shy away from our loved ones and friends when we are going through something difficult (notice how you don't really want to get together with your girlfriends because you are dreading them asking how things are with you?) This strain (whether it is conscious or not) in all of our relationships could be part of the reason we get so down.

Research has show that people who are the happiest are those that cultivate strong relationships with people. So, to get your happy back, its time to open yourself up to being a good friend again and you can do that right this second. It means letting go of what's happening with you and trying to be the type of friend you would want...someone who is present and listens to your story, acknowledges and validates your feelings, and lifts you up. We all know of someone who is really good at doing that, so try to emulate those actions and be that person for another friend, colleague or family member. Perhaps they are dealing with a difficult personal situation and you can help them through it. Or perhaps you have a niece or nephew that you have distanced yourself from because of your struggles, and its time to reenergize that bond you once had with them. Whatever the relationship is, try to go deeper.

Doing this will help you separate yourself from your own issues, help another person by being a good listener (which is what we all need and love about our good friends) and help you understand that what you are going through is temporary and will pass.

So pick yourself up and reach out to someone and see if you can be there for them in the same way you would want someone to be there for you.



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