Smita Parikh, MD
Learn the the fastest way to break the cycle of worrying
Remember that lovely person you were before you started trying to have a baby? The one who was joyful, driven, determined, and pretty much had it all together? Even though you had moments of stress and anxiety, you were able to keep it under control and keep moving forward.
Fertility treatments have a way of shaking all of that up (lucky you!) and we get into what seems to be an endless pattern of hope, worry, anxiety, and a constant fear of loss.
Many clients ask me, “How do I manage all of this when I am constantly being disappointed throughout this journey?”
I totally get it. Every single step of the way, there is worry.
You start injections and you worry “will my eggs respond?
You undergo the egg retrieval and you worry “are there actually eggs in those follicles? “Are they good quality eggs?”
You anxiously await the call from your clinic to know if those eggs have fertilized. Days go by and you wait longer to know if those embryos are growing.
Are there enough to transfer? How many will they transfer?
Will I get a positive beta? If you do, will that beta double?
If that beta doubles, will I make it to the 6 week ultrasound?
And then the worry continues. Will I make it to the next ultrasound?
Will the baby be healthy at the 20 week scan?
The list goes on and on.
And you know what, the worry won’t stop. Even after you give birth. You will continue to worry about how the child is eating, sleeping, socializing, learning!
There is no end unless you make a conscious decision to reset the way you deal with the unknown. So if you’re tired of feeling this way, you need to shake things up in your favor. Begin by focusing on the present day. Not the past, not the future, but the 24 hours you have in front of you. On top of that, you then have to celebrate and feel joy during those 24 hours! If you got a positive beta, celebrate that today you are pregnant (you have to put aside worry that tomorrow you may not be). If you suffer a loss, it’s okay, because maybe you got one step closer than a previous cycle so celebrate that you are moving closer to your goal. Always keep in mind, that tomorrow things will be different. Start practicing this strategy today. Worrying and feeling anxious all the time is not serving your higher purpose so let it go.
“I’ve never seen any life transformation that didn’t begin with the person in question finally getting tired of their own bullshit” – Elizabeth Gilbert